A Phone Call or Text?

Living a lifestyle where you say goodbye sucks. You never really know when you get speak to your loved one(s) when they are away. All you can really do, is just stay busy, allow yourself to miss them from time to time, then stay busy again. I know that is what I do.

I fill my calendar with all sorts of things, sports, gym, coffee dates, hair appointments, dog appointments, laundry, dishes, cleaning the carpets, taking my kiddo to school, wondering aimlessly through down town window shopping, taking the kiddo to the zoo, or park, or museum.. the list will go on if I felt like writing that much.

Just when you really are about to hit the wall and break down, and the world feels like its caving in, the little text out of no where that says “Hey”.. just “hey” melted my heart! Brings tears to my eyes, and Joy to every fiber in my body! My light has turned back on! Then comes the best part… A PHONE CALL!

Listening to his words, and hearing his voice.. “What are ya’ll doin?” this words put a smile on my face because he doesn’t miss a beat. Its like he hasn’t even left, he is right down the road at work or something. He is, he is at work.. just a much much much farther walk/drive/flight… but he asked the important questions.. what are YA’LL doin.

My world was starting to move a little a slow, but I’m back now. I feel rejuvenated.

A phone call or text, thats all it takes, sometimes.

Daily Prompt: Clutch

As I load my daughter in the car seat I clutch her hand tight and tell her we are going to the airport. she looked up at me with sleepy eyes, then searches her surroundings and lands her eyes on his face. She smiles and says, Daddy!

My eyes fill with tears but I hold them back. I’ve got to be strong. She can not see me break, not yet.

He clutches his bags in hands and throws them in the back, lowering his eyes to shoes. Meeting each others eyes, is a hard task this morning. We don’t say much but talk about the night before.

We reassure each other that this will be fast trip. That it could be worst. That we should be thankful for the time we had, even when it was an unexpected surprise.

I pull up to the drop-off zone of the airport. Its a mad house, a day before Thanksgiving.

I park the car, get out to walk our sleepy daughter, so she can say goodbye, give big big kisses and hug her daddy’s neck. She ask him where he’s going? He keeps a strong stiff face, and smiles. “Daddy has got to go to work, baby. I’ll be back soon. I love you.”

He closes the door, and turns to me. Tears are rolling down my face. My heart is breaking. I am being selfish, I don’t want him to go. I want him to stay with us. Spend the holidays with us.

“See ya later hunny. I love you! Be safe! Call when you can!” I lean in for my final kiss before he heads out.

Until our next unexpected surprise… military life living it everyday as a military family!

via Daily Prompt: Clutch

HELPING HANDS

2 WEEKS

Its been almost 2 weeks since my husband flew to his new duty stations. He is doing well, you can tell that being away from his one true love “his daughter” is the hardest thing he has ever done. He is so strong but doesn’t give himself enough credit!

Men, it is okay to cry! Tears show a different kind of strength. He is a passionate man, and as much as it breaks my heart to see him hurt, it warms my hard to know he isn’t afraid to show his true self to me, his daughters, and even some of his co-workers. Sure they may poke fun, but you know what, FUCK EM! If those co-workers can’t respect who he is and what he sacrifices, then those are not the ones to surround himself with. Okay rant over……

HELPING HANDS

I served for the US Navy, 8 years. I choose to separate in 2013. As an active duty person, the community is strong and bold, but sitting on the other side as a spouse, the community and bond is 10x’s stronger. A military family is family, plain and simple.

The past 2 weeks, the military community has been there for me and my daughter more than i can express. Calling to check up on us, inviting us out to their place for dinner, coming over to my home for coffee, beach play dates, and dropping their day to spend with me at the ball park.

Now its not just the military community that i cherish, but my Church family as well. I cling to my church family. They have been in my life before my daughter made her debut. They gave me my first try at taking care of children in the Kids Ministry. It is there  I learned something about myself, I have no patience. And still don’t. I pray for patience EVERY DARN DAY!

FRIENDSHIPS

Friendships are what you make of them. They can be strong, subtle, or even the whats up how ya doing  type. However with each friendship you build it to what fits your circle. My friendships are categorized by Church, Military, Softball, and everything else. They are 3 completely different categorize and they each hit a spot in my heart. Some too over lap! THOSE ARE THE BEST FRIENDSHIPS!

I am going to be a little selfish, I love my different families, because each help me out so that i can have my healthy release of playing  ball. Everyone has their outlet, mine just happens to be on a dirt field, with a dusty glove, a 11inch or 12inch yellow stitch ball, playing a team sport where you can be play your position but play as a team. I get 50-55 mins each game of pure no worries and just play. I said I was going to be selfish, its because I am blessed with friends who are willing to lend a helping hand and help me with my daughter.

Passion VS Hobbies

Passion. It is an emotion that is such a strong feeling about a person or thing. It can have an intense emotion or compel excitement for someone or something.

Hobby. An activity don’t regularly in ones leisure time for pleasure

Do you know the difference? Have you ever stopped to think about which is your passion and which is your hobby? Do you ever use the love for a hobby? Has that become a passion? Does it take precedence over your loved ones? Or has your loved ones become the hobby?

15 Days

15 Days until he leaves for his overseas tour. You can tell its getting a little emotional around here. Our daughter knows something is up, but she is not to sure what exactly it is. I feel this is why she is acting like a wild a child. We have taken all the steps that Fleet and Family Suggest, and the books say to do.

1.) Sitting down and talking to her, showing her on a map where Dad will be. Where we live.
2.) Make fun family days and giving her memories that she can look forward to when Dad comes back
3.) We tell her all the time that Dad will be going away for work for some time, but will see him on the “homework” thats what she calls my laptop or desktop

Thanks to our amazing local Library, San Diego Public Library, Mission Valley Branch, they put together this Issue Pack. Titled, “Military Parent Deployed”. This kit has multiple books for you and your family to read together to start the topic of talking about the changes that will happen in months to come.

These books have given me great ideas to make this time apart from dad hopefully easier by crafting ideas ( I AM NOT A CRAFTY MOMMA! I DESPISE THE MESS), countdown fun days, gift exchange ideas, and so much more.

Some of the books are:

I Miss You! – Beth Andrews

Night Catch – Brenda Ehrmantraut

Lily Hates Goodbyes – Jerilyn Marler

11 Ways to Ruin a Photograph – Darcy Pattison

When Dad’s at Sea – Mindy L. Pelton

While Your Away – Eileen Spinelli

Red, White & Blue Good-bye – Sarah Wones Tomp.

I bring this back into round circle, my passion 10 years ago was ball. My hobby 10 years ago was family, sad I know.

 

TODAY, MY PASSION IS MY FAMILY! They are my heart, my love, my life, my friends, my everything, my hobby is ball. Ball keeps me distracted from the harsh reality that my best friend will be miles away for multiple months.

20 Days

You Got This

Day 1, you didn’t make it, stiff margaritas, anger,

Day 2, I’m on the list! Yay! —–now what, phone calls, breakfast excitement joy

Day 3, still waiting for word on what to do.

Day 4, no word yet, what to do. I’m watching my husband work on his workbook. 9pm read books watch movie in bed with little one, she wants daddy. I explain daddy working.

Day 5, really day 1 of the season for us. 4am whole house is up. One car, I’m am getting shit done! Kid is dressed rocking bed head, I’m in pjs rocking a fish hat, husbands in his is blue and gold PT gear ready to get his sweat on.
Coughing like crazy, “Hunny you okay…?”
“Yeah, I’m fi…..” runs to the bathroom and pukes….
“Here’s your bagel, just breath hun, it’s the nerves. Something new and different. You got this”
“Thanks babe” he responds.

As we get in our One Car, we head towards the base. On the silent hwy of 15S.
“I’m excited and sad” as he turned to look at me. Our daughter is singing moana in the back seat. “Why is that?” Stupid question…. because it gave me the feels as soon as he answered.
” I’m supposed to be on leave spending time with my family, before I go over seas for 2 years”…… silence from both of us.

The Challenge

We found out in March he got selected for orders over seas. He is doing an                  unaccompanied tour for 18-24 months. We say 24 just in case thing get screwy, but we are hoping for the later, 18 months would be way cooler!

Your probably asking why unaccompanied? Why would anyone put their families through that? Isn’t that just asking for problems? All great questions, however simple truth, while he is out there we would never see him.

He would be working so much. With watch standing duties, his schedule rotation of in and outs. The experience would be fun, but the truth, I don’t want to pull my daughter from her school, church, friends, and family.

FaceTime will be our number one source of communication.

All this has happened before 7am.

As the day passed we keep getting mixed news. No one knows what going on. Will he stay? Will he go? Do I get to be there with him when the moment comes or will I will be thousand of miles away watching this once in a lifetime event on social media, FaceTime, or just mere seconds captured throughout a lens.

He’s leaving. Im crying, my daughters looking at me puzzled, and my dog well she keeps shedding.

20 Days.